Don’t Say the V-Word!!!!

Oh that’s right. I went there. To me it is a dirty word. No matter how much everyone tries to tell me it isn’t a big deal, I loath it. VOICEMAIL. My Dad and I bicker relentlessly about my inability to listen to voicemail or return phone calls in general. My theory is if you need something – text me!

I believe that my dramatic fear of voicemail stems from two primary issues:

The first comes from a huge pet peeve of listening to people talking loudly on cellphones in public places. I don’t care what streetcar you are on, what Anna did yesterday that infuriated you, or whatever you have to say loudly while on public transit. Once I was on a train and heard a woman tell her engagement story 12 times on the way to Montreal. By time number thirteen I ripped the phone out of her hand and told the story verbatim to the frightened person on the other end myself.
The second is my “doer” thinking style. Checking a voicemail just takes too long. I have to call a whole number, enter a password, and then contort my face against the phone to listen to you mumble “Hi it’s me. Call me back”? It makes absolutely no efficient sense to me. Just send me a note and tell me what you need. It saves me 5 minutes in checking that voicemail, and the 5 minute call to find out what you needed – when I could have been using that time to DO what you needed me to do.

So depending on your fears and needs, this blog has two themes – reducing voicemails and how to leave voicemails. Read on…

How to reduce annoying voicemails.

1. Always respond to voicemail-aholics with a text or email. People are somewhat trainable (I’m still working on my Dad). If every time you write them back maybe eventually they will catch on and write you in the first place.

2. Don’t have an outgoing voicemail message or if that’s not possible tell people they will get a faster response by email or text. See reasoning for #1. Their fear of you not getting it will go one of two ways, they’ll email or hyper-call (that’s a whole other ballgame folks).

3. Accept the fact that sometimes voicemails are appropriate, necessary, or meet the thinking/communicating style of the other party. Hey, soon enough voicemail will be “retro” it will be like getting snail-mail. Embrace it’s retro-ness you hipster you.

4. Leave effective and efficient voicemails (see below). Again, people are trainable and mimic good behaviour. At least if you have to listen to one it will be painless.

How to leave voicemails (for the talk-aphobics).

1. State your name and where you are calling from at the beginning of the call.

“This is Nicole Dunn calling from Whiteboard Consulting.”

2. BRIEFLY state your connection and the objective of your call. This is where voicemails go wrong. You don’t plan, you start babbling. You aren’t prepared and your message sounds like a bad Shakespeare soliloquy that’s difficult to hear and just plain annoying. Be clear with what you are looking for. This allows the person to look into available

” Sam introduced us last week at the cocktail party. I’d love to set up a meeting with you next week to talk about business processes at ACME Temp Agency and am looking for your availability.”

3. Repeat your name and phone number TWICE (the second time more slowly). This helps if you are a mumbler, fast talker, or use Rogers and your phone cuts out for no reason whatsoever. It also helps if your listener didn’t have their pen ready.

“Again, this is Nicole Dunn from Whiteboard Consulting at 416-531-9889. That’s Nicole Dunn at 4-1-6-5-3-1-9-8-8-9. Thanks kindly”.

Soon my pretties…soon voicemail will be like Kodak Moments, tranceparencies, mimeographs, and shoulder pads. A distant and funny memory of something from the nineties (Click to Tweet). For now let’s be kind and curious and placate our vehement voicemail users until it goes away. When they come back, I’ll write an equally snarky blog about how to deal with people who are now “into” voicemails because they are retro.

Until next time! Tell us your voicemail woes @whiteboardcons using #ihatevoicemail.

P.S. How many weird phone calls and voicemails do you think I will get????

Allow me to explain.

Batch processing occurs when a number of tasks are grouped together and processed as one large batch. This is often very efficient for the person completing the tasks, and can save a lot of time. Think about if you were making a dozen sandwiches for a picnic. It’s doubtful you would make one sandwich at a time, adding it to the picnic basket. Instead, you would probably lay out a 12 slices of bread, butter each of them, then add whatever fillings were going in them, then put the second slice of bread on, then cut them in half, wrap them up and then put them all in the basket.

A business example might be something like having a stack of expense claims to process. The processor might do one at a time, entering data in a system, generating a cheque, and getting approval in one big file. More likely, the processor would do all the entries, then generate all the cheques, and then bunch them all together for approval. Each of these things might even be done by different individuals.

So why did Starbucks change their process? It’s only speculation, but I believe it allows the customer to feel more “special,” because they have a beverage that was carefully handcrafted. There may be other reasons as well, of course.

In our humble opinion, however, Starbucks has ignored one key thing. Batch processing in a high volume process is FASTER. As a customer, I could care less if it was the only Grande Decaf Sugar-free Soy Vanilla Latte (yes, that’s my current drink of choice) made especially for me. I just want it fast, and when I see the barista heat up the soy milk pot several different times, one drink after another, I want to hop over and help speed things up.

So as a rule, we love the batch processing thing.

But not always.

That’s right. Just to keep you on your toes, there is a caveat here.

If your process is not high volume, then batch processing is BAD and hurts your customer. Think about it. In the example with expense claims, if you only get a couple of expense claims a week, but want to wait until you have at least 10 to process all at once (batch processing), then the tenth person is a happy employee because their claim was processed super fast. The first one to hand in his expense claim, however, has to wait for potentially several weeks to get reimbursed.

We worked with a client some time ago that processed tax credits for a number of customers in the entertainment industry. Their standard process was to collect tax credit applications until there was literally a pile of them to process, perform the first process step on them, pass them off to the next person, and so on until they were complete. Interestingly, a large percentage of the applications never made it out of the first step because they were inaccurate or incomplete.

So not only was the client waiting for weeks for the application to be processed, but they often waited that long just to be told to start over and fix an error! Imagine how frustrating that would be.

The moral of the story is – high volume transactional processes often benefit from batch processing. Low volume, not so much, especially from the customer’s point of view. Click to Tweet

Next time you’re gathered around the barista’s counter waiting for your drink with a dozen other people, watch the process and think of us!

What processes can you think of that involve batch processing? Tell us in the comments below, or Tweet us @whiteboardcons.

Until next time,

Ruth.

Tag Archive: efficiency

Is Voicemail retro yet?

Don’t Say the V-Word!!!!

How to reduce annoying voicemails.

How to leave voicemails (for the talk-aphobics).

To Batch or Not to Batch

Allow me to explain.

But not always.